Then I go to a prayer meeting...where we mix the liturgical with music, prayer, and getting in groups and sharing how God is working, to prayers for healing. While we aren't going to agree on every single little issue...we can pray for one another and listen to the concerns that each one brings to the group. And I see that some of my struggles are ones that the others in the room have as well. None of us is perfect...and we unite in our imperfections...and challenge one another forward.
Jesus is bigger than this world. He is the glue that holds everyone together...not a denominational label (my church is non-denominational--for the record)...and this isn't a place for theological debates. Just for proclaiming HIM and how HE works. And that mutual agreement on every single thing isn't necessary for fellowship and love. We serve a God who heals, who forgives,and who gives courage to do what is right,forgiveness when we sin...forgiveness to give those who sin against us...and who brings the hurting to a place of peace. He gives us love for one another. I had a card with the word "love" on it. Was supposed to share how I had experienced love. I mentioned how my homegroup has been there for me through a difficult trial...and said they would be there for me. They want to know how I am feeling--for me to be honest...not say what I think they want to hear...and they aren't telling me to get over it. I said that I didn't know what I did to deserve that kind of love--I just show up. The wife of one of the pastors said Jesus is like that...we just show up.
Some days, I do just "show up". To church...to praying or reading His Word...but then most often I come away with something that He wanted me to know and hear. Sometimes even when we don't feel like it,we can always show up...and He can take care of the rest.
And today I showed up. I knew I should ask for prayer for healing. And someone asked if there was another person who needed prayer. So I shared my story. I had just gone to my sleep doctor yesterday. He was very pleased with how I am doing. My sleep disorder is under control by medication. The doctor is going to prescribe enough medication for my trip and so I don't have to worry about that...but I do need a long term solution. I can't take a years worth of medicine with me next time. I don't know if it's God's will to heal me completely, or for me to be an example of His strength made perfect in weakness. Only time will tell. But I was challenged today that God is sovereign. I am taking the step to pursue this trip and starting this children's home...God is big enough to help me figure out a long term solution for my sleep issue. And for now though,I have a doctor who listens to me, does most meetings over the phone, and doesn't need to see me again til right before I leave. And most of all I have a God who cares for me and who gave me this heart to love...and who planted me in a community of beautifully encouraging people....and for today, that is enough.
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